Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Pity Party

Ok. I know we all know about them. And sometimes, we just have them. As soon as we left church on Sunday I told Doug, "I feel a pity party coming on." I just couldn't shake it. It lasted all day! I would get busy doing something else and forget about it. But as soon as I wasn't busy... It all came back. Sometimes I hate being an emotional woman but I guess God designed us that way for a reason.

So I guess you want to know what my pity party was about.

As you know we have been trying to have a baby for over 2 years now. I've been going to a fertility doctor for over a year and still nothing. I've been on Clomid for 3 months. I go back to the doctor tomorrow to find out what's next. The devil really knows how to beat me up about this. Not only do I feel like EVERYONE around me is pregnant, but I feel so alone! I guess that is God calling me to lean on Him. As I have shared before, I have been through a very tramatic experience as a teen when I was almost killed in a car wreck. God spared me and taught me so much during my trials and 4 months of pain. I KNOW that He is also going to bless me with a child one day and I will see what God is teaching me through this time of pain as well. It's just so hard when you are in the midst of it! Doug did confess on Sunday that he was hurting too and it was affecting him as well. That made me feel not too much like a crazy woman. Just keep praying for us. It is very hard and we feel very alone!

I am much better today as I rest on the verse. "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:24.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Yes God!

Our bible study right now is the book "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God" by Lysa TerKeurst. It is an awesome book and it's actually going along with my life right now. Isn't that just how God works? It's amazing! Let me tell you about it...

Last Friday God presented an opportunity to me at work to go ahead and quit to do Mary Kay full time. It wasn't exactly what I had "planned" but that's not always God's plan, right? I knew that Doug was going to say we couldn't do it. As soon as he got home from work on Friday I told him everything. The only thing Doug said was, "Can you do it (MK)?" He has seen how hard I work and how passionate I am about my business. I said, "Yes!" (not really knowing). He said, "Then do it." I'm going to be stepping out on faith with God's help alone. I'm so excited yet so scared! "Yes Lord I want Your courage to do what I feel You are calling me to do." The perfect quote from our bible study. I didn't tell the owner my decision until this past Friday so I could have a week to get confirmation from God of our decision. Confirmation came over and over. First from this bible study. Last week was actually the second week of the study but I had missed the first. I have to admit, I hadn't read any of it before I went on Sunday. But the whole chapter DeeDee taught on was about saying "yes" to God even when it seems difficult. "Whatever God says do, do it!" Over the week I had other confirmations from God that if I just trust Him we can do it together. I'M READY AND I'M SO EXCITED! I've made it this far with God's help working full time. I can't imagine what I can do full time with God's help! I'll be able to attend Bible Studies, Director meetings and the possibility to make much more money. There are endless possibilities with God's help and this wonderful Mary Kay business. I completely trust God to provide everything we need. Please continue to pray for Doug and I as we go through this transition. We've never been on a budget but we're about to start. Should be interesting but I know we can do it. I'm working out a 3 week notice until I go to Dallas. I can't wait for God to lead me on this journey to more divine appointments and teach me more about himself. Yes God!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Divine Appointments

In our Bible Study on Sunday night DeeDee started talking about Divine Appointments that God has for us. Well, I know some of you (including some of my family) thinks this Mary Kay thing I am doing is silly. But I have had so many Divine Appointments through this business. God uses me in this business to go into women's homes and minister to them. Sometimes it's just an older lady who just needs to talk, or a selfconscious lady who needs confidence. My goal in this business is to bless other women. And God has shown me so much that if that is my focus, he will return my efforts ten-fold. It's amazing! Let me tell you about my favorite Divine Appointment...

It was a Tuesday night, I had gone through my neighborhood directory to find women who would help me with my goal of 30 faces that month. I called a lady that I didn't know and she agreed to have a facial and invite some friends. I was SO excited! My cousin had just signed up under me and had not started doing facials yet. She called me Thursday afternoon and was so excited that it was her friend that was having facials with me. So she was going to come to watch and learn. When I got to her house that Thursday night we started talking. I had actually gone to school and church with her and her family before they moved when we were in 4th grade. Her husband graduated with my brother too. Her sister came in, then my cousin with another friend. Everyone was talking and having a great time. They decided to go across the street and invite her neighbor. When I have parties I like to be laid back and let the ladies have fun. They were all talking. Turns out 3 of them have special needs children. They had been looking for someone to give them advice on special pre-school programs. My cousin's friend has an older special needs child and was able to minister to them on exactly what they needed! It was AMAZING! It was even the neighbor's birthday. Between talking we did facials and had a great time. My cousin and her friend asked me if I would give my testimony about my car wreck. They were so sweet! After everyone was done, my cousin's friend pulled me to the side. I had been standing the whole time and she knew my feet were hurting. She asked me if she could rub my feet. She works in a nursing home as the activity coordinator and rubs their hands and feet every day. So, if you know me... I never pass up a foot rub (especially when they are hurting). She sat there at my feet rubbing them and ministering to me about my fertility issues, foot problems, etc. She prayed over my feet! It was AMAZING! That night I sold $40, spent 3 hours there, and gave my cousin all those women as her customers. Some may say my business didn't go well that night. But I say I got the biggest blessing of all... A Divine Appointment. Those women would have never gotten together if it weren't for a Mary Kay party. Every person there got a blessing that night. It was a miracle! I love to see God working in my business to bring such wonderful women in my life! I know this is exactly what God wants me to be doing and it is a WONDERFUL feeling!!!

It's been a while...

Ok, so it's been a while since I've been on here but I'm going to try to start back. There are so many things going on that I want to share. God is doing SO much in my life!

First I'll follow up on the previous blog, "Waiting On God's Timing." Well... we are still waiting. We tried on our own for a while then I felt God telling me I was ready for the next step. I started taking Clomid the last week of August. So now, we are still waiting. I know without a doubt that God is in control and He will give me the desires of my heart. I still have complete faith that He is going to give us a baby... in His time. Please keep praying! If we don't get pregnant on Clomid by mid-Oct. they want to do Artificial Incimination. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. God will lead!

In the meantime, God has me in the most wonderful career path I could imagine. Mary Kay is a Christian company and has some of the most remarkable, inspiring women I could ever meet. I just won my first car and picked it up in August. Watch out for me in my charcoal Pontiac Vibe! It's awesome! Then on September 1st I became an Independent Sales Director! That means I am in the top 3% of the company. It was a huge goal but me and my team did it! God is planning some exciting things in the near future. I will try to keep you up to date!

Friday, January 4, 2008

Waiting On God's Timing...

Well, I haven't written in a while but I have somethings on my heart that I need to get off. When we share our burdens, it makes them less heavy. Please share this burden with me.

Doug and I have been trying to get pregnant since shortly after we got married. We weren't in a hurry but thought we would start trying. Doug just turned 38 this year and he wants to have kids before he gets too much older. So my OB/GYN sent us to a fertility specialist in June. I was nervous so I didn't call and make an appointment until August. Doug was tested and was fine. I had a very painful endometreosis surgery in October. They found more than expected and ended up taking out my appendix because of it. Then he gave us 4 months to try on our own before more help. So... we are two months in and nothing...

I have complete faith that God will give us the desires of our heart. It's just very hard waiting... Then what do we do? Do we let the fertility doctors do treatments, medicine, etc? I don't think I can handle twins but I guess God knows what we can handle.

Sometimes I feel like I've been through enough. I almost died in a car wreck 8 years ago. I will have problems with my feet from that wreck for the rest of my life. Isn't that enough? Why do I have to go through this too? I know that is just the devil trying to plant a seed of bitterness in my heart. I just see these people go through life with nothing bad happen to them and wonder why me? You know? I remember something Beth Moore said in a bible study I did a few months ago. I'm not sure exactly how she said it but it basically said if you don't struggle then you are missing God's full blessings. I'm standing on that. I know that I am so blessed in MANY other ways as I wrote about last month but it's so hard when you want something so bad but you must wait on God's timing... Please pray for us as we struggle. I know it will be worth it!!! God is Good All the Time (no matter what)!!!