Well, I haven't written in a while but I have somethings on my heart that I need to get off. When we share our burdens, it makes them less heavy. Please share this burden with me.
Doug and I have been trying to get pregnant since shortly after we got married. We weren't in a hurry but thought we would start trying. Doug just turned 38 this year and he wants to have kids before he gets too much older. So my OB/GYN sent us to a fertility specialist in June. I was nervous so I didn't call and make an appointment until August. Doug was tested and was fine. I had a very painful endometreosis surgery in October. They found more than expected and ended up taking out my appendix because of it. Then he gave us 4 months to try on our own before more help. So... we are two months in and nothing...
I have complete faith that God will give us the desires of our heart. It's just very hard waiting... Then what do we do? Do we let the fertility doctors do treatments, medicine, etc? I don't think I can handle twins but I guess God knows what we can handle.
Sometimes I feel like I've been through enough. I almost died in a car wreck 8 years ago. I will have problems with my feet from that wreck for the rest of my life. Isn't that enough? Why do I have to go through this too? I know that is just the devil trying to plant a seed of bitterness in my heart. I just see these people go through life with nothing bad happen to them and wonder why me? You know? I remember something Beth Moore said in a bible study I did a few months ago. I'm not sure exactly how she said it but it basically said if you don't struggle then you are missing God's full blessings. I'm standing on that. I know that I am so blessed in MANY other ways as I wrote about last month but it's so hard when you want something so bad but you must wait on God's timing... Please pray for us as we struggle. I know it will be worth it!!! God is Good All the Time (no matter what)!!!