Pity Party

Ok. I know we all know about them. And sometimes, we just have them. As soon as we left church on Sunday I told Doug, "I feel a pity party coming on." I just couldn't shake it. It lasted all day! I would get busy doing something else and forget about it. But as soon as I wasn't busy... It all came back. Sometimes I hate being an emotional woman but I guess God designed us that way for a reason.

So I guess you want to know what my pity party was about.

As you know we have been trying to have a baby for over 2 years now. I've been going to a fertility doctor for over a year and still nothing. I've been on Clomid for 3 months. I go back to the doctor tomorrow to find out what's next. The devil really knows how to beat me up about this. Not only do I feel like EVERYONE around me is pregnant, but I feel so alone! I guess that is God calling me to lean on Him. As I have shared before, I have been through a very tramatic experience as a teen when I was almost killed in a car wreck. God spared me and taught me so much during my trials and 4 months of pain. I KNOW that He is also going to bless me with a child one day and I will see what God is teaching me through this time of pain as well. It's just so hard when you are in the midst of it! Doug did confess on Sunday that he was hurting too and it was affecting him as well. That made me feel not too much like a crazy woman. Just keep praying for us. It is very hard and we feel very alone!

I am much better today as I rest on the verse. "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:24.